Barry Welsh is Coming | A celebration of the BAFTA Cymru award winning HTV Wales series starring John Sparkes
 
Siadwel

A series of random tweets from the bedsit poet, philosopher

Long before he invented much-loved Barry Welsh and Hugh Pugh, John Sparkes started off in television in the Ď80s as one of the team behind BBC sketch show Naked Video.
BBC Radio Wales has broadcast three series of comic monologues from the bedsit poet, philosopher and favourite lost cause of Wales

This is a collection of random thoughts and tweets

 7.5 tonne HGV Driver wanted

Siadwel

I saw a job advert in the newspaper today: '7.5 tonne HGV driver required'. They will struggle to get anybody that weight.

Itís been suggested that I should write my memoirs, as I donít know what that means I'm just going to write down some stories from my life

My Gran says that believing in superstition is just pure bad luck



 Keeping my nose clean

Siadwel

I always think It is sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his violence, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels

My Gran said; "Keep your head down and nose clean at work Siadwell" Which was fine until I was sacked for picking my nose under the desk

My Gran said "Siadwell, you start from the bottom and work your way up." Is that a way to teach me how to swim?


 A thousand packets of viagra have been stolen

Siadwel

It has always puzzled me why are there only four cup-a-soup sachets in a box when there is five working days in a week

A thousand packets of Viagra were stolen from a Llansamlet chemists last week, the man responsible is still at large

As a boy, Gran gave me a box of tin soldiers, I threw away all the Generals, Sergeants and Majors, I just played all day with my Privates

I once considered becoming a monk when I was young but I was cloisterphobic


 I found them on the bottom shelf

Siadwel

I was at the hospital visiting my Gran the other day and passing the Maternity Room I saw a sign on the door that said: Push. Push. Push.

I went to the chemist today looking for 'Germoloids' or 'Preparation H' for my Gran and luckily found them there on the bottom shelf

My birthday and all my Gran could afford was a second hand cough sweet which was lucky really as I have a sore throat


 Christmas shopping

Siadwel

They say that the cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world, clearly having never seen Gravel hit the January sales in Swansea

Iíve just been shopping and itís ridiculous as the local supermarket has got festive decorations up; itís only 358 days until Christmas

My Gran knows I love reading and for Christmas got me a book, which is lucky really as I love looking at the last yearís Argos Catalogue



 I thought my name was Noel

Siadwel

My Gran got me a tablet for Christmas, which is quite lucky really as I had a headache and needed a Paracetamol

For many years my mam said that my name was Noel, so at this time of year I thought all the Christmas cards were really my birthday cards

Christmas dinner, a packet of cheese and onion crisps, a Twix and a bottle of Ribena. Quite lucky really as I have that every day

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Siadwel © John Sparkes | Images © BBC | Updated 16th July 2016 | No infringement of copyright is intended. | This is a unofficial celebration, non-commercial, non-profit making, fan site
Tweets all mine @Siadwell1 unless from someone else