Barry Welsh is Coming

I went to the reading festival this weekend, but the music was too loud to read any books.
There was drama at Uncle Pop’s funeral when due to a spelling mistake 100 baboons were released instead of 100 balloons
When you think about it, it’s really lucky that they build the world’s first iron bridge in the town called Ironbridge

Cars – Let’s face it, they are a bloody menace. Mayor of Fishguard Kenny Twat has now introduced a parking premium for all cars in Fishguard. and as an extra incentive – Coracles can park for free
Mayor of Fishguard Kenny Twat was said to be frustrated over the introduction of a tourist tax. He said that Fishguard was already poor enough without having to pay for tourists to come and visit
It’s reported that the Edinburgh TV Festival could leave Edinburgh amid concerns over costs and industry’s lack of working-class voices. Then why not come to Fishguard. Yes, Fishguard! Home of the international Fishguard Film Festival
Missing your favourite theme park? Why not come to Fishguard? Home of the Fishguard Tourist Pipeline and Ned Wassock’s World of Dark
Reports are coming in from all over Fishguard that Rasputin Twat and Angela Monkey have started filming the new James Bond film, ‘ A View to a Rhyl’
The UK’s first small nuclear power station will be built in Fishguard. Fissionable Atomic Reactions Technology (FART) will be able to power most of Fishguard on a good day and if the wind is in the right direction (but not in the way you are thinking)

Mayor of Fishguard Kenny Twat is suing ‘Lookout Wales’ for a billion, billion, gaszilion pounds because in every news report about him, he claims he’s being called a Twat
In a speech today, Mayor of Fishguard Kenny Twat announced his plans to re-name Cardigan Bay as the Gulf of Fishguard
The magnificent Spanish ship El Galeón Andalucía will visit Fishguard next month. Please be advised that this will not be as a part of an invasion, they are our guests
Street food has come to Fishguard, but not in the way you are thinking…
Fishguard weather centre has issued several weather warnings, including an amber wind warning for parts of Fishguard on Friday with gusts of up to 900mph

Hundreds of people attended a “stop the boats” protest in Fishguard today while a smaller counter-demonstration was held nearby, and a third and much larger group of people protesting about people protesting regardless of their issues
Mayor of Fishguard Kenny Twat said that his plans to ‘tarmac the shit out of the countryside’ have been taken out of context. He said he would also ‘tarmac the shit out of Haverfordwest given half a chance’
Scientists at Fishguard College of Technology have discovered a way of making cars more environmentally friendly
Fishguard resident Julian Calendar has started a petition “In a country where there are two languages spoken, there should be two calendars available”
Fishguard FC Rovers have unveiled the £99bn proposal for their new stadium to be named ‘Plas de Twats’

Farts. Let’s face it they all smell, but importantly according to Mayor of Fishguard Kenny twat they are warm and could be collected as a new heat source to heat homes in the winter
James Bond is set to be played by youngest star ever as Rasputin Twat has been seen in Fishguard
The 14:55 ferry from Fishguard to Roslare has been cancelled and there will be a replacement bus service
Speculation is rife in Fishguard over the news that Rasputin Twat might be the new James Bond and that the ‘Bond’ girl will be none other than Angela Monkey
Today the Mayor of Fishguard Kenny Twat met with the Mayor of Haverfordwest Hugh Janus and just talked smack at each other for 45 minutes

Flags in Fishguard will be at half-mast today. It’s got nothing to do with the proposed tourist tax, it’s just that they haven’t got enough string
In an announcement in Fishguard today, Mayor of Fishguard Kenny Twat said that in a country where there are two languages, there should be two ways of seeing things
A fall prevention class in Fishguard this week has been criticised as being too late as it’s already autumn
Mayor of Fishguard Kenny Twat said that Fishguard is to get over £54 to boost the economy over the next three years
Who will be the next James Bond? Speculation mounts after Amazon has bought the rights 007, and it’s by coincidence that Fishguard resident and star of S4C, Dai Laffin has been seen going to Hollywood

In search of humpback Whales

On August 29, 2026

In Geraint Pillock

They are big, grey and splash about in the water. No, we’re not talking about the Fishguard WI swimming club, but humpback whales have been seen off the coast of Fishguard.

I spoke to the only person to brave the ocean and track them down; Geraint Pillock, Geraint, why are you doing this?

“Mainly because it’s a challenge, a challenge for me, it’s a challenge for the coracle and again it’s a personal challenge”

It’s one thing to paddle your coracle down the river Teifi, but isn’t it a little bit dangerous out in the high sea getting close to a 44-ton humpback whale?

“Thing is it could be very dangerous. On the other hand, it could be all right.”

In your quest as a modern-day Captain Ahab in Cardigan Bay, just how long do you expect to be out at sea in your coracle?

“Anything from between twelve and fifty hours.”

Twelve and fifty hours? Very Impressive, and I assume that you anticipate seeing these humpback whales in that time?

“Very optimistic, I will do it, but you’re talking about a long time but I will do it. I hope to do it the first time.”

I assume this has never been done before and that is the reason why you are doing this?

“Mainly because it’s a challenge, a challenge for me, it’s a challenge for the coracle, and because it has been done before”

Thank you Geraint Pillock… willing to take on any challenge mainly because it’s a challenge

From 22^nd January, 2024

Ugly, The Past & Gromit

On August 27, 2026

I went for a walk down memory lane recently and found it’s all been pulled down and there’s now a supermarket there
I just hope the re-enactment of the burial of Richard III helps them catch the blokes that did it
Whoever said that nothing’s impossible obviously hasn’t tried slamming a revolving door
I’m not saying I’m an ugly, but not even a boomerang comes back when I throw it
Reading an interesting feature in the Western Mail of the producers on how they made ‘Wallace and Gromit’; I always thought with Plasticine

Yobs, Monks & the Sun

On August 27, 2026

You know when you are getting old, when a day to remember is just that. All you do is just sit there, remembering the past
Some yobbo attacked me down the local park tonight with a bat, and I was really impressed at how well he’d trained it
Had this really funny joke about the sun I was going to tell you, but someone has made a funnier joke about the moon and totally eclipsed it
The Doctor said that I am agoraphobic, but that’s nonsense as I hate violence of any kind
I once considered becoming a monk when I was young but I was cloisterphobic

Medicine, Nan & Tea

On August 27, 2026