Barry Welsh is Coming

By Ed Itor

On August 21, 2026

In Siadwel

Nan is very house proud and is always cleaning. She says that the toilet is so clean I can eat my dinner off it
I see that teachers don’t like Ofsted giving their schools one-word reviews. Ironic really when teachers have been giving kids one letter reviews for years
“So this is Christmas and what have you done?”
Seriously, what have you been doing all year? I’ve been round at Nan’s eating some of her bottom scrapings
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? I really can’t tell as I’m deaf in one ear and have tinnitus in the other
Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away – that’s really irresponsible of you given the state of the NHS, and I had to find a new heart to replace mine

By Ed Itor

On August 21, 2026

In Siadwel

A very unpleasant person recently told me to go back to where I came from but my dad’s testicles are a really bit old and wrinkled now
My big toenail came off the other day, so I put it under my pillow and sure enough the Toenail Fairy came in the night and gave me a shiny 50p
Really looking forward to some of Nan’s Christmas dinner. This year she has promised only the best of her bottom scrapings
Don’t worry if your A level results aren’t what you were hoping for. My granddad started off on the factory floor and after 25 years of hard work was made redundant
When I was little, my parents couldn’t afford sky, often as not I’d be locked in the cupboard under the stairs and I would imagine that the cobwebs were clouds

By Ed Itor

On August 21, 2026

In Mr Ffffff.....

If I’d had sex with a porn star at my age, I would be telling everyone about it and not trying to cover it up.
It’s not the coff that carries you off, it’s the coffin they carry you off in
In my day members of a Conservative party weren’t all greedy, self-serving, lying scumbags as they are now. No, wait, yes, they were. But they seemed to have more class.
I’m not dead, I just naturally smell this way.
I’ve auditioned for a role in the next James Bond film. It’s quite appropriate for me as the villain is called Odd Knob

Newsdesk

By Ed Itor

On August 21, 2026

In Fishguard, In the News

Mayor of Fishguard Kenny Twat has supported plans to rename Fishguard airport to The Angela Monkey and Greta Honk on a Harp International airport, despite the fact that Fishguard does not have an airport

Fishguard Police are still on the lookout for the Pembrokeshire dangler who was last seen leaving a large deposit all over the town

With the recent snowfall in Fishguard, many residents were said to be on the piste, though that could have been something else

Mrs Hideous recently woke up recently to a fresh 3 inches, but not in the way you are thinking. It was snow obviously… you filthy minded

In the news this week

By Ed Itor

On August 16, 2026

In In the News

We’ve just had another national alert from the Government. Seems that Amy Dowden is going to be on Strictly Come Dancing. Don’t panic

The line-up for this year’s Strictly Come Dancing has been announced, so who will be first to drop out due to injury and who will have an affair with their dance partner?

It’s A’ Level results time when Jeremy Clarkson reminds us that he got an A, and R and S & E